10 Things I Wish I Would have Known About College in High School

After graduating high school, we're all simultaneously thrown into this "real world" concept that society puts in our heads. It's this "real world" that forces us to critically think about the next steps of our lives. What exactly do we want to do? What kind of person do we want to be? Where do we want to end up? 

It's these type of questions that keep many people up at night, because not many people truly know what they want. And how can we honestly expect ourselves to know? We're young adults still figuring out the consequences of our footsteps. 

For many people, college is the next step after graduating high school. Going into college, I thought I was entering a utopia of having fun, figuring out who I was, and preparing myself for the "real world." But once I got to college and finished my Freshman year, everything I thought was going to happen wasn't exactly what it was played up to be. So these are 10 things I wish I would of known about college before I got here. 

1) School Isn't Everything - As much as people try and get good grades, grades alone won't depict what you do after college. It's not like high school anymore. A 4.0 GPA and 36 on your ACT doesn't automatically make you the best candidate, but yes, it does makes you a pretty damn good one. Internships, extracurriculars, and networking will ultimately get you on the path you want to be on after graduation. 

2) Party with your head on your shoulders - Don't be stupid. Don't flash a group of 100 people just because you want that immediate satisfaction of being "that person." Trust me, 1-2 years down the road you won't want to be walking around campus known as "that person." Have fun, party. Hell, even have your fair share of fun during the week. But don't let temporary feelings turn into negatives. 

3) Venture out of your dorm - Once you arrive at college, you're immediately put with a random crop of people who you will most likely live around for the rest of the year. Don't make bad first impressions. Get to know these people, because some of these relationships you make will be life-long. Others, will not. While you may be tempted to spend copious amounts of time with these people due to convenience of location, venture out. Many of the best relationships I've made in college are outside of where I live because we meet out of shared interests, not because of a random assignment. 

4) Get Involved - Whether that is student government, the arts, Greek Life, intramurals, etc., get involved. Many organizations/activities are great resume builders, fun, and full of people with similar interests.  

5) If you don't like your school, leave - I've personally made the mistake of staying where I didn't want to for too long, and I'm still there. The best advice I could give someone after their freshman year is to trust their gut. If you honestly feel like you would be happier at a different University, transfer. There will be new opportunities for growth wherever you go. 

6) Don't end high school relationships for the unknown - There is a common myth that once you graduate high school, you have to put all past relationships aside. Your past relationships don't have to end just because you're going to different Universities. Long distance relationships can work if both people make the effort. Keep in touch with old friends. They might be people you end up coming back to down the road for advice, jobs, and friendships. 

7) Pre-Med is NOT for everyone - I can't tell you how many people walk around the first few months and tell everyone, "I'm going to be a doctor," and after the first semester of classes, they receive their grades and change their major. Major in something you're passionate about, not what makes others happy. And screw anyone who tells you that you shouldn't major in something because it's too easy, there aren't enough jobs in the field, the pay isn't good enough, etc. There is no clear-cut path to success. I'm a Communications major, and I'm more than confident I'll be successful one day with whatever I end up doing. 

8) Be confident - Your freshman year is a time when you can completely start over. Forget about the negatives from your past and be confident with what you do, even if you have no idea what you're doing. Have a good time, express your opinions, and be happy. People are drawn to others who are confident and happy. 

9) College can be lonely - Even though you're surrounded by dozens of people every second of the day, it's normal to be lonely. College is a time to figure out a lot of things, and it's alright to feel like no one understands where you are coming from, or what you aspire to be. At the end of the day, everyone thinks about themselves. Stay in touch with your family and close friends. You'll find yourself reaching out to them more than you thought you would need to. 

10) Take time to breath - I've made this mistake one too many times. I've been so caught up in everything around me that I neglected to take care of myself. Take some time to process your day, whether that's a few minutes, or hours. Write down the highlights of your day. Listen to music. Watch some Netflix. Workout. Eat. Sleep. Go for a long walk or drive by yourself. Just breath. 

Goodbye // Guardians

The past 24 hours have been surreal. I went out last night for some typical Saturday night festivities completely blind to that fact that I had lost some influential people/souls in my life.

I didn't feel right at the beginning of last night. I went to a hockey game and halfway through the game, something hit me. I remember going into a daze and thinking that I needed to get out of there. It was one of the gut feelings that happened, but went away after an hour or so.

My phone had died and I was supposed to meet some friends at their house. When I showed up they weren't back yet so I was forced to walk around the area for a while. I knew completely well that nothing was open and I was starting to get cold. I walked by a church and if you know me, you know that I usually don't trust religion. It's changed the best people I know. But something brought me in. I remember walking into this church and wondering why it was open. On one of the main doors there was a sign that read, "Open to those whenever needed."

I sat down on one of the couches, plugged in my phone and looked around. It was completely silent and surprisingly peaceful. I feel kind of weird admitting this, but I prayed for my family. I haven't really talked to them in months and something just brought me to the thought of them. I prayed for their health, safety, and overall stability. After this brief moment, my phone turned on. I called the people I was meeting up with, and left the church to hang out with them.

As the night went on, I felt more like myself again. I started to open up to the people I was with about certain things that I've been dealing with this year.. It was crazy, but it felt kind of good.

I woke up around 9:30 and headed back to my dorm. As I was walking back, I almost got hit by a car. When I say almost, it was a matter of inches. I don't know whether this person was drunk or not but they swerved all the way over to the sidewalk and barely missed me. It was as close of a call as it gets.

There were a few other close calls that night/day that I'm not going to go into, but I failed to connect the dots until later.

I woke up around 1:30 pm and got a text from my parents asking for me to call them when I got the chance. I learned that a mentor of mine growing had committed suicide the previous day. I also learned that my parents had put down my dog that same day as well. That was my first real conversation I've had with my parents in a while. We went over how everything was going on both sides of things. After that, I reached out to my brother who I haven't talked to since I was 10. We talked for about an hour or so.

The more I thought about it, the more it all made sense to me. I may have lost two souls in my life, but I gained two more watching over me from above.

I think they were watching over me last night when I talked to some friends for the first time in person about some difficult things going on in my life. I think they were watching over me when I almost got hit by a car. I think they were watching over me when I could of got in real trouble last night. I think they might have answered some of my prayers.

Life is good. People go, scenarios change, but life goes on. I've got some great people watching over me above and I'm ready to kick some ass in this one life we all live.

Until next time,
                         Will Biernat

Lights

There are certain posts like this one I choose not to share with people on social medias. There's something about these more personal posts that I'd rather have people stumble upon on their own. 

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As simple as it is, I think I know what I'm going to be naming my first album. 

Lights

I've been writing and writing these past few months to try and develop a sound that people can relate to. It's funny because Lights came to me in a dream. I woke up from one of the most twisted journeys of my entire life to this epiphany. It was brilliant. 

Lights illuminate who we are. When the lights are off, we're vulnerable. When the lights are on, we're still vulnerable, but it's all out there for others to see. Lights aren't tangible. When you think about it on a deeper level, lights are literally everywhere. When we close our eyes, we can imagine light. When we open our eyes, we can look for the light. In the figurative sense, we look for the light in others. The concept of lights is brilliant. 

In the beginning stages of developing this album, I've tried to capture my human experience. When I first sat down with a pen and paper at 3 am on a Monday, I thought about the utmost highs and lowest of lows in my life and put them all on paper. Within minutes I had dozens of thoughts and experiences I've either taken pride in or tried to forget about. All of these emotions were all of the sudden put to the forefront. It was a trip and a half to say the least. 

Whether I realized it or not, all of these experiences have shaped who I am today. They were like the lights that guided me to where I am now. They say "lights will guide you home" .. but as young and naive as I am, I know this is just the beginning. 

My "lights keep flashing, but never fade." As we grow older, we'll keep having these influential markers in our lives, all shaping who we become. Those experiences flash in front of us, but never fade once they leave. 

I sincerely hope I capture people with my first album. I want to help people relate to themselves, their life, and the world around them. 

If there's one thing I've learned so far, it's that everything is subject to change. People, priorities, situations; they all change. How we adapt and move on shows the world who we really are. You gotta be tough nowadays. 

I hope Lights can help people through the ups and downs of their world like writing this album has helped me too. 

Sincerely, 

                Will Biernat 

No One Will Ever Know What I've Done on my Own

People think I've had it easy;
born into a ray of sun
most relationships turn volatile
some to none

Money isn't the motive
but it is my defeat
cause I can't talk home
scars on my bare feet

Minds running in circles
from wants to needs
because yesterdays sorrows
are todays leads

Rain is my nostalgia
it takes me to the lake
us sitting on the dock
nothing scary at stake

I wonder if you miss me
if you ever want to kiss me
but all you did was diss me
deep down I wished you missed me

the suns been rising
it's almost noon
opportunities come and go
some too soon

Future so bright
didn't see the cracks
blindly moving forward
on the wrong tracks

No money
No family
19 in the middle of my mind
Iggy Azalea shit is long gone behind

I've made many mistakes
most will never know
my shadows are black
like dead grass under snow

The sun's still rising
but if it's almost noon
I've got to start working
to my own damn tune

Mediocracy scares me
keeps me up at night
hell it's 4 AM
damn, sleep tight

Traveled to cities
all on my own
no one will know
what I've done on my own

No one will ever know
what I've done on my own

Dark // Light

In a figurative sense, I don't believe in black and white. Especially at a young age, a lot of the things in our life fall in some sort of grey area.

This list that we mold for ourselves never seems to end. 

- Who we want to be 

- Where we see ourselves in 10 years

- Our chosen Occupation

- Where we want to live

-etc. 

Personally, I find myself falling somewhere in the middle with the majority of the list above. The grey area. Black and White is nothing but an illusion formed in a fictional utopia. 

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They say that darkness is just the absence of light. We often ignore and justify darkness as something as temporary. It's as easy as flipping a switch, waking up from a kindred dream, or stepping out of a dark room. 

By ignoring darkness, we fail to comprehend. We fail to understand. We fail to know why we yearn for the light. 

You would be lying if you said you were never blind to your next step. Darkness is a very big part of our life. In the figurative and literal sense, darkness makes you think. Because when the tangible things in front of you are not illuminated, your mind wanders. Your mind is forced to find a light of its own. 

Darkness is real. Why do we as a society ignore what is not seen? Why do we only focus on the light when the switch can be turned off? Why do we only focus on the light when the sun sets? Why do we only focus on the light when millions of people are stuck in the dark? 

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I believe there is no light without the recognition of darkness. 

End // Start

At the end of the day as you lay your head down to rest, there's that moment of reflection. That moment where your mind buzzes through the triumphs and complications of your life. That moment where you can finally catch up with all of the madness before you run off into your own imagination. After you catch your breath you start to focus on tomorrow. You know, the little things. Like what you're going to have for breakfast, homework that's due, plans. And after you make it through the little things, you start to think about the bigger picture. Where you want to be in a year, what you want to do with your life, etc. It's at that moment you realize that the end is never really the end. The end is only just the beginning. The end of your day is only the start of tomorrow. 

You get on this cycle of ends and beginnings. And when you think about it, that's all life really is. Just a compilation of what happened, what's now, and what's next. It's brilliant, really. 

While life can be complicated and full of distorted happiness, sadness, and contentment, there will always be that opportunity for a new start. 

The end is never really the end. 

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At the submission of this post there's a blank page. A new story to be told. A new life to live;

The start. 

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-Will Biernat

Home // Alone

The essence of home has shrunk for me. Up until I left for college, the house that I grew up in for 18 years felt like my rock. But when I graduated high school, I couldn't wait to leave. I literally spent everyday in the city (being Minneapolis/St. Paul) with a looming attitude of "I'm never coming back when I pack these bags." Little did I know that it wouldn't be the physical things that would permanently leave, but my heart and mind.

The summer between my Senior year of high school and Freshman year of college was pretty rough. I used the emotions that I accumulated that summer and tried to completely eliminate them from my psyche. But with every wound, leaves a scar. Throughout my Freshman year I slowly let go of all the things that made me feel something at home, and put them to rest. It was the most liberating thing to not give a care about the things from my past, and I grew so much from simply letting go.

On every break I found myself with nothing to do.. My life had transitioned from a world centered in suburbia to a world centered with my head in the clouds. I wandered the city; going to new places every single day. I had big dreams, and I guess I still do.

The summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year of college was so foreign to me at first. I had found love with another girl again, and it was weird because none of my good friends even knew about it. It was one of those spontaneous, spur of the moment flings that turned into something so strong. Something about the secrecy of it made me feel so alive. I was whipped in love and spent every night whisking the streets of Uptown and the greater downtown Minneapolis/St. Paul with her. The girl that I spent most of the summer with was 4 years older than me, and we would frequent local bars/hang outs. Being 19 years young I felt like I was growing up so fast. We talked about things I said I would never talk about so young (the future, moving together, etc.). I became so dependent to the love that we had that I lost the visions of who I wanted to become.

Going into my 2nd year of college, I moved away from the Twin Cities and back to Grand Forks. I parted ways with my family, and I felt like I only had two or three close friends from my hometown.. For the first time I was comfortable saying goodbye to everyone. I established a brand new life at college and met so many people in such a short period of time that I sincerely call my "close friends." Towards the end of that semester, I lost the relationship I had with the girl I had spent my entire summer with. Even though she lived in another bigger city nothing like Minneapolis, I felt like that was the last bit of closure I needed at home. At that moment, Minneapolis/St. Paul wasn't home for me anymore. I only had two close friends there and that's it.

And now here we are at the present, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or where I'm at. I'm currently at my parents house that they are in the process of selling. I spent a week at my condo in Florida and another week shopping for a place for my parents to live once they retire later this year. Yeah, I sort of reconnected with my family again, but it obviously wasn't the same. We still don't see eye to eye, and I don't plan on coming back to "home" again after this semester.

What I'm trying to illustrate for you is that I lost home. Every place I go is plagued with markers that illuminate certain points in time that once made me feel. I can't go to the airport to watch airplanes without thinking about the deep conversations I've had with people that are now out of my life for good. I can't go to Uptown without thinking about the love that I lost. I can't go to Applebee's without thinking about the stares, comments, and whispers that my peers from high school put in my head. I can't drive past my old high school without thinking about spending every single lunch period in the TV studio by myself. It's hard to call a place home when it's really not home in your heart.

This break I've found myself thinking about the future. I stay up into the wee hours of the morning trying to make these big goals and plans, reality. I freakishly plan out things with spectacle amounts of detail. I feel like through the sleepless nights and my time alone, I've found myself. I've learned so much about myself and where I want to be because for the first time in a long time, I'm completely independent. I don't have anyone peering over my shoulders to check my course of action. I'm steering my own ship, and it's pretty damn cool.

When I packed my bags for college a year ago, yeah, I came back to visit once and a while. But mentally, I left for good. I don't know where home is anymore, but part of me thinks it's in the clouds. I have these dreams that aren't localized to a certain geographic area anymore. I could end up anywhere, and that is awesome/scary at the same time.

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With all of that information, I frequently think to myself:

Did I sacrifice relationships for this road?
Am I even on the right path?
Where exactly am I going?
If this doesn't work out, who do I have?
Will I ever come off of these clouds?
Will I be stuck in this figurative Purgatory forever?

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"It's weird how you can have so much, but feel so alone."

Will I be alone forever? Did I set myself up for this?

I don't want to end up alone.



Will Biernat 

Home // Alone